How a single word makes a massive difference

This week, I learned how one little word can make a huge difference.

Hold on:

This week, I learned how one little word will make a huge difference.

Hmmm. The first one.

What am I on about?

This all started when I saw a Kindle advert for a book. I had quite a standard blurb - mentioning the main character and her vocation. To tease the plot it mentioned the main character getting an opportunity, something like:

"The character has an opportunity in front of her. What she will do next can change her life forever."

It just didn’t feel right, you know?

I looked at it for a while, not understanding why I was feeling like something off, before realising that it was the word "can" that wasn't right. It was a matter of urgency. “Can” didn't create as much urgency as "will" would have. This looked like a story about someone who was having a nice time and taking advantage of a business opportunity, but one that if they missed might not have all that big an impact.

Readers will have their own opinions, but personally I don't want characters who have the possibility of something changing their lives; I want a protagonist that faces impossible choices or deals with something they can't possibly avoid. The use of "can" in this sentence made the whole plot of the book seem like a choice, which is a lot less interesting to me as a reader.

Saying one thing in one sentence is a lot harder than expressing the same sentiment in a paragraph. You have to get everything down really clearly and concisely, and every word counts. This is part of the reason my blog has a variety of creative forms in it. My poems, short stories, and flash fiction have shown me that even if I'm writing long-form like a novel or a script, each word carries a meaning that needs to be considered.

To test my learning, I thought I'd have some fun and look at one of my current projects, creating a little outline. So I decided to write a logline for my imaginatively titled “Fantasy1” project. Can one word really make a difference?

"A group of unlikely heroes can overthrow the tyrannical leader."

Not great, is it? Of course, the heroes in most books usually have the opportunity to overthrow a tyrannical leader, but while writing this book, do they have to, or is it something they might consider doing if they have a good sleep the night before, or if they feel like a challenge because they're a bit bored?

I'll change one word and try again:

"A group of unlikely heroes must overthrow a tyrannical leader."

How about that? Changing "can" to "must" has completely changed the feel of the sentence and increased the urgency tenfold. This shows me that when I do come to write blurbs and short forms to introduce my work, I need to take the time to really think about every single word in that sentence, especially the verbs, to make sure that I'm creating a sense of urgency and encouraging the reader to pick up a copy because they think it's going to be really high stakes, interesting, and exciting.

I'd be interested to know if readers of this blog have ever looked at some work or words and thought that something didn’t quite fit. How did you figure out what the missing word was or the word that needed to change?

I’m taking next week off to head on holiday with the family. So the next poem will be on the 9 April, with a blog post on the 12 April.

Until then, take care.